CAN’T YOU JUST CALM DOWN?! Tools to Help Kids with ADHD Master Emotional Regulation
Children with ADHD often face a variety of challenges, from managing their focus and behaviour to staying organized. But one of the most significant struggles often overlooked is managing emotions. Emotional dysregulation is a common aspect of ADHD, and it can lead to emotional outbursts, frustration, and difficulties handling stress. When kids with ADHD experience overwhelming feelings, they may struggle to calm down, which can impact their relationships, school performance, and overall well-being.
Thankfully, emotional regulation is a skill that can be taught, practiced, and strengthened over time. In this blog post, we’ll explore the emotional challenges kids with ADHD often face and offer practical tools to help them manage their feelings more effectively. From mindfulness exercises to calm-down spaces, these strategies can help children learn how to stay centered and regain control when emotions run high.
The Emotional Challenges of ADHD
Emotional dysregulation refers to the difficulty in managing intense emotions. While many people with ADHD are familiar with impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattentiveness, they might not immediately recognize the role emotions play. Children with ADHD often experience emotions more intensely than their peers and may have trouble controlling these emotional responses. This heightened emotional sensitivity can lead to:
Outbursts of Anger or Frustration: Children with ADHD may react impulsively to situations, leading to sudden outbursts when they feel upset or misunderstood.
Difficulty Calming Down: Once emotions are heightened, kids with ADHD may have a hard time finding their way back to a calm state, prolonging distress.
Low Frustration Tolerance: Tasks that feel too challenging or frustrating may lead to emotional meltdowns or giving up.
Social Struggles: Children with ADHD may face challenges in social situations when emotions such as excitement, frustration, or anger become too overwhelming, making it difficult for them to form and maintain relationships.
Fortunately, by teaching kids with ADHD emotional regulation skills, parents, teachers, and therapists can help children manage these intense emotions more effectively, leading to calmer, more positive interactions and a greater sense of control over their feelings.
Tools for Supporting Emotional Regulation
There are a number of strategies and tools that can help children with ADHD manage their emotions. These tools can be used at home, in the classroom, or even in therapy sessions to teach children how to stay calm, refocus, and regain control when emotions become overwhelming.
1. Mindfulness Exercises
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for children with ADHD. By teaching kids to focus on the present moment without judgment, mindfulness exercises can help children become more aware of their emotions and reactions. This awareness can lead to better emotional regulation and a calmer state of mind.
How to Practice Mindfulness with Kids:
Simple Breathing Techniques: One of the easiest mindfulness exercises for kids with ADHD is mindful breathing. Teach your child to sit quietly, close their eyes, and focus on their breath. They can count their breaths, focusing on how the air feels as it enters and leaves their body. Even just a few minutes of mindful breathing can help children calm down and refocus.
Body Scan: Another effective mindfulness technique is the body scan. Guide your child to mentally “scan” their body from head to toe, noticing any tension or discomfort. This exercise helps children tune into their bodies and emotions, making it easier for them to identify when they’re starting to feel overwhelmed.
Mindful Sensory Activities: Mindfulness doesn’t always have to be about sitting still. Sensory mindfulness activities, like focusing on the feel of an object or listening to the sounds around them, can be a great way to teach children how to ground themselves in the present moment.
Why It Helps: Mindfulness teaches children to pause, notice what’s happening inside them, and respond rather than react. It helps children recognize their emotions early, allowing them to take steps to calm down before an outburst occurs.
2. Deep Breathing Techniques
Deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to calm the nervous system and manage emotions. For children with ADHD, learning how to take slow, deep breaths when they’re feeling upset can prevent emotional outbursts and help them regain control in stressful situations.
How to Practice Deep Breathing:
The Balloon Breath: Teach your child to imagine they are blowing up a balloon. They can take a deep breath in through their nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then slowly blow out through their mouth as if they were filling a balloon with air. Repeat this process several times to help your child calm down.
Box Breathing: Another simple technique is box breathing, which involves inhaling for four seconds, holding the breath for four seconds, exhaling for four seconds, and holding again for four seconds. This rhythmic breathing exercise helps children slow down their breathing and regulate their emotions.
Why It Helps: Deep breathing triggers the body’s relaxation response, helping children calm down quickly. It also provides a simple, portable tool that children can use anywhere whether they’re in the classroom, at home, or in a social situation.
3. Using Calm-Down Spaces
Creating a calm-down space at home or in the classroom can provide children with a safe place to retreat when they’re feeling overwhelmed. This designated space allows them to take a break, calm their emotions, and return to the situation when they feel ready.
How to Set Up a Calm-Down Space:
Choose a quiet, comfortable corner in your home or classroom. This could be a small reading nook or a cozy chair in a quiet room.
Fill the space with calming items, such as soft pillows, a weighted blanket, or stress-relief toys like fidget spinners or stress balls.
Include calming tools like a sand timer, mindfulness coloring books, or calming music. You can also use sensory items like essential oils or calming visuals such as a lava lamp.
Why It Helps: A calm-down space gives children the time and tools to self-regulate when emotions are running high. It offers a sense of control over their environment, which is crucial for children with ADHD who often feel overwhelmed by intense emotions.
4. Emotion Thermometers
Helping children recognize and label their emotions is an important step in teaching emotional regulation. One creative way to do this is by using an “emotion thermometer,” which allows kids to rate their emotions on a scale from calm to very upset.
How to Use an Emotion Thermometer:
Draw a thermometer with different emotional zones: calm, slightly upset, frustrated, and very upset.
Teach your child to identify which zone they’re in throughout the day. For example, they might be in the “calm” zone when they’re playing quietly or in the “frustrated” zone when they’re struggling with homework.
Once they recognize which zone they’re in, help them choose a strategy to move back to a calmer zone. For example, they might take a break, practice deep breathing, or visit their calm-down space.
Why It Helps: The emotion thermometer helps children with ADHD develop emotional awareness and gives them a visual tool to track how they’re feeling. It also empowers them to take action when they notice their emotions escalating.
5. Journaling or Drawing Emotions
For children who may struggle to verbalize their feelings, journaling or drawing can be a great way to express and process emotions. Encourage your child to keep an emotion journal where they can write or draw about how they’re feeling, what triggered those emotions, and how they responded.
How to Encourage Journaling:
Set aside time each day for your child to write or draw about their emotions. This could be part of their bedtime routine or a quiet time activity.
Use prompts to help them get started, such as “Today I felt ____ because ____” or “The hardest part of my day was ____.”
If your child enjoys art, encourage them to draw pictures that represent how they’re feeling. They could draw a storm to represent anger or a sunny day to represent happiness.
Why It Helps: Journaling or drawing allows children to express their emotions in a safe, nonverbal way. It also helps them reflect on their feelings and recognize patterns in their emotional responses, which can lead to greater emotional self-awareness.
Helping Your Child Stay Centered: The Role of Consistency and Support
While these tools can be incredibly helpful in teaching emotional regulation, it’s important to remember that consistency is key. The more regularly you practice these techniques with your child, the more they’ll become second nature. Here are some tips to ensure the success of these strategies:
Practice in Calm Moments: Teach these tools when your child is calm and receptive. Practicing deep breathing, mindfulness, or using calm-down spaces during non-stressful times will make it easier for your child to use them when emotions are running high.
Model Emotional Regulation: Children often learn by example. Show your child how you manage your own emotions, whether it’s through deep breathing, taking breaks, or expressing feelings calmly.
Celebrate Successes: Praise your child when they use these strategies effectively. Positive reinforcement will encourage them to continue practicing emotional regulation.
Guiding Your Child Toward Emotional Calm
While emotional regulation can be challenging for children with ADHD, the right tools and consistent practice can help them gain control over their feelings and reactions. By incorporating strategies like mindfulness exercises, deep breathing, calm-down spaces, and emotion thermometers, your child can learn to manage overwhelming emotions and find calm amidst life’s daily stresses. As a parent, your guidance and encouragement will play a crucial role in helping your child develop these skills, empowering them to face challenges with greater confidence and resilience.
We specialize in providing comprehensive support for children with ADHD, focusing on emotional regulation and executive functioning. Through our ADHD Brain Training Program, we equip children with the tools they need to succeed both at home and in school. If you’d like to learn more about how we can help your child manage their ADHD, feel free to reach out today. Together, we can help your child navigate their emotions and thrive.